Sick

Body's giving way. Need to re-adjust my lifestyle. Feeling terrible... emotionally, mentally, physically. I would if i could, flip the finger at Death and his three other hommies. But damn, they are strong.

Exhausted

Everything that was a whirlwind yesterday, was sort of settled. Forgiveness was begged/demand/cajoled from my hurted self. It literally exhausted me to the core. I slept from 6am - 12pm, periodically sms-ing people back. And from 6pm to 12am. From sheer exhaustion.

Shan is saying that I'm too forgiving. But that's the way I am. And thank you, Shan and Mira, for being there all the way since we're friends. For being angry for me, being angry with me, being angry AT me... Because you guys care for me.

And thanks to people who messaged me, I am fine now. Thank you, thank you for caring. *bows deeply* Life will be better. And hopefully, hot molten rocks will rain upon Boon Keng and crush all chikopeks in there.

what the hell

what the hell man. of all people, more often than not, you would expect more from people close to you. And really. REALLY. To be so insensitive. I no longer care in thinking if i was being needy to my friends or not.

That insensitive comment hurts. ALOT. Bloody crying my eyes right now. what the hell man.

All in A Day.

I Wanna Hold Your Hand

I am sorry for my wistful thinking. Sorry for my naive innocent thinking. Thinking that everyone have equal rights to simple things, like education, job qualification, healthcare and love.

The poor can only try their best at education, give up further studies due to lack of funds. Watch others go on. Despair. Pretend that its okay. Its not.

The lowly educated will forever be considered last when in comes to job. Hardworking? Its okay, we'll work you to the bones for miserable pay. Because you are not that well educated.

Healthcare. You can pay, you get a doctor. Else you watch your loved ones around you suffer. Pretend its okay? Hell no, its not.

Love. I am just never entitled to it. I GIVE UP.

I'm gonna take a long break. Not even sure anyone reads my blog anyways.

Financial Health

A typo error started this post.

Friend: "...wait till your financial health is beter."
Me: "beer? Oh crap. It is like beer."

Yes, currently my financial health is like a mug of frosty cold beer.

Cold, frosty beer that looks damn good across the bar.

An empty, forlorn mug when its in your hands, with the world tipping upside down around you.

Beer. Thats why I stopped drinking.

BOH Gathering

Lots of things have changed since the BOH group last met up with each other.

Undeniably, I see everyone improving. I see everyone moving onwards. And I feel that I've changed too. And somehow, I will be changing even more.

What will happen?


_

waaaaaAARRGHHHH!

I woke up with a Song Pounding in My HEAD. And I don't own the mp3 and only heard it once on youtube eons ago. And I really woke up screaming "waaaaaaaaaaaarrrghhhhh! I'm NOT AFRAID!"

(Hook)

I'm not afraid to take a stand

Everybody come take my hand

We'll walk this road together, through the storm

Whatever weather, cold or warm

Just let you know that, you're not alone

Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road

(Intro)

Yeah, It's been a ride...

I guess I had to go to that place to get to this one

Now some of you might still be in that place

If you're trying to get out, just follow me

I'll get you there

(Verse 1)

You can try and read my lyrics off of this paper before I lay 'em

But you won't take this thing out these words before I say 'em

Cause ain't no way I'm let you stop me from causing mayhem

When I say 'em or do something I do it, I don't give a damn

What you think, I'm doing this for me, so fuck the world

Feed it beans, it's gassed up, if a thing's stopping me

I'mma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly

And all those who look down on me I'm tearing down your balcony

No if ands or buts don't try to ask him why or how can he

From Infinite down to the last Relapse album he's still shit'n

Whether he's on salary, paid hourly

Until he bows out or he shit's his bowels out of him

Whichever comes first, for better or worse

He's married to the game, like a fuck you for christmas

His gift is a curse, forget the earth he's got the urge

To pull his dick from the dirt and fuck the universe

(Hook)

I'm not afraid to take a stand

Everybody come take my hand

We'll walk this road together, through the storm

Whatever weather, cold or warm

Just let you know that, you're not alone

Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road

(Verse 2)

Ok quit playin' with the scissors and shit, and cut the crap

I shouldn't have to rhyme these words in the rhythm for you to know it's a rap

You said you was king, you lied through your teeth

For that fuck your feelings, instead of getting crowned you're getting capped

And to the fans, I'll never let you down again, I'm back

I promise to never go back on that promise, in fact

Let's be honest, that last Relapse CD was "ehhhh"

Perhaps I ran them accents into the ground

Relax, I ain't going back to that now

All I'm tryna say is get back, click-clack BLAOW

Cause I ain't playin' around

There's a game called circle and I don't know how

I'm way too up to back down

But I think I'm still tryna figure this crap out

Thought I had it mapped out but I guess I didn't

This fucking black cloud still follow's me around

But it's time to exercise these demons

These motherfuckers are doing jumping jacks now!

(Hook)

I'm not afraid to take a stand

Everybody come take my hand

We'll walk this road together, through the storm

Whatever weather, cold or warm

Just let you know that, you're not alone

Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road

(Bridge)

And I just can't keep living this way

So starting today, I'm breaking out of this cage

I'm standing up, Imma face my demons

I'm manning up, Imma hold my ground

I've had enough, now I'm so fed up

Time to put my life back together right now

(Verse 3)

It was my decision to get clean, I did it for me

Admittedly I probably did it subliminally for you

So I could come back a brand new me, you helped see me through

And don't even realise what you did, believe me you

I been through the ringer, but they can do little to the middle finger

I think I got a tear in my eye, I feel like the king of

My world, haters can make like bees with no stingers, and drop dead

No more beef flingers, no more drama from now on, I promise

To focus soley on handling my responsibility's as a father

So I solemnly swear to always treat this roof like my daughters and raise it

You couldn't lift a single shingle on it

Cause the way I feel, I'm strong enough to go to the club

Or the corner pub and lift the whole liquor counter up

Cause I'm raising the bar, I shoot for the moon

But I'm too busy gazing at stars, I feel amazing and

(Hook)

I'm not afraid to take a stand

Everybody come take my hand

We'll walk this road together, through the storm

Whatever weather, cold or warm

Just let you know that, you're not alone

Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road

The Dying and The Dead

I'm fine with Death. It simply means the end of someone who existed before. I may grief and I may reminisce about the good times and the wonderful memories. But I can accept Death.

But I don't do well with the dying. I see the pain they go through, and selfishly, when there seems to be no hope for them, I wish for them a quick painless death.

I'm fine with anger, its just a natural feeling when something goes wrong and out of your acceptance. I let it out, then let it go.

But I don't do well holding vengeance or harboring hatred for others. I believe to forgive, also washes yourself clean from this tainted emotion of hate.

So I am not fine with hating the dying. Why do this news pleases me not?

______________________________________________________________

I wanted someone to hold me when I got the news.

And my heart went "Doki doki"

When someone who hardly greets anyone goodbye tries to nonchalantly look for you before they leave, and upon looking at you, wave goodbye.

When someone who stares at you in the eyes and smiles deeply, and didn't answer your question, making you bug him repeatedly to get him to reply.

When someone who sneaks a peek at you and you are sneaking a peek over...

When the heart goes "doki doki"...

___________________________________________________________

When you fall in love....

Blackhole Attacks!

Olalala~ Lacy Underwear!
I can't believe I forgot to do an artwork for September! Oh Mon Dieu!!!
This can not do. After I rest... More to come!

At Work Comic #2

Because It's easier than asking for a boyfriend.

At Work Comic #1

Side note: My Creative Director has taken to "whipping" me when I don't perform up to his standard. I foresee a lovely long enjoyable working relationship with him.
Hahahaha... And here's a comic to show what happens when you accidentally bother a Director about 3 frames in editing...