Saturday, January 29, 2011

Conservative Chinese Woman





Conservative Chinese Woman

Within her own box of rules, she is Bounded.
Her own set of fears, in truth, unfounded.
Her intimate feelings hidden but ablaze.
Seeming genteel, till you catch her gaze.





ps. This blog is going weekly!

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Why Would They Fall for You?








Without A Warning,
Pitter patter pitter pat.
They Fall Just for You.

Monday, January 24, 2011

A New Look

My Blog has a new look!

And I feel apprehensive about tomorrow, because I've been procrastinating some work...

Oh God. I'm actually scared.


Thursday, January 20, 2011

Sometimes I say the Darnest Thing

So today I was chirpy and in a surprisingly good mood despite work having some hiccups.

And I was talking to a colleague as he was heading off, trying to be social and just downright friendly.
He shook his head and said earnestly,

"Where ever you're heading, I'm heading the exact opposite direction."

And left smiling.

And I yelled back at him, laughing,

"well, if we head far enough, we'll meet at the other end of the world!"

I said the darnest things sometimes.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Can we pretend...

...that everything is alright when it's not?



This past few months have been a roller-coaster ride of logic thinking. And I've given almost everything I have, every decision I made, every action I create, a lot a lot of thought.

And I decided to cut everything cancerous to me away. Including friends, behavior and thoughts... Everything falls into place when I behaved logically. Like woah. And suddenly my life seems uncluttered. Nothing is perfect, but everything is shelved properly. Cold, clean and unfeeling.

Amidst the standard daily routines, I was listening to music and I just wonder... Am I too late to chase my dream? I really want to chase my dream. I'm crazy to think of that, but I just wonder... why not?

Ahahaha... Ends up, after all these logical thoughts, I'm still drawn towards the emotional pulls of the world.

I enjoy animation, I enjoy drawing, I enjoy the arts. But that's not my deepest dream.

I've been dreaming this dream since I was 4 or possibly younger. And I didn't pursue it due to health reasons. My own mother cried at my despair, at my pain, but she ultimately pulled me away. The physical pain is nothing compared to the sullen hurt of the lost dream. I didn't realize how much it hurt my mum, how much despair she felt. I am sure its not her dream to be a housewife as well. I mean, I inherit my ambitions from her!

But then again, if I could go back in time, would I have changed all my actions, and made all the different decisions?

I would have to forsake everything I know, everyone I know and love.

The truth is...My Answer Will NEVER MATTER. And I would cry thinking about it. Because I obviously can't go back in time.


So I'll just enjoy what I'm doing right now. After all, not everyone gets their dream, right?


HELL NO.


I'm taking different steps now. I didn't make all these changes to just continue being the same as I am.

.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Saturday, January 15, 2011

A Modern Tale

Supposedly I have a friend who is currently part-timing as a facilitator in a polytechnic. And supposedly to protect identities, let's call him Facil.

He would share with us his experience as a first-time lecturer and his views on it over one rainy lunchtime, when all of us were trapped at a coffeeshop without any umbrella.

And it would (this is merely hypothetical) bring back memories, both good and bad of the time when I was studying in Poly myself. Looking back, I will be happy that I had a meaningful poly life. Not all was good. In fact, there might be tons of grief- causing incidents and stupid mistakes that were made, petty arguments and yes, possibly even more. But let's not dwindle on my personal past. Even if it is hypothetical.

So Facil was stating that majority of the students there were not there by choice and would rather be studying something else, not animation or games or media at all! My first (hypothetical) reaction was one of repulsion and disbelief. Why then are you tormenting yourself by choosing this course? Being a person who would fight for my own dreams, I could not understand why these youth could be wasting their time doing something that they are not happy with. It's like forcing yourself to eat something you hate.

But understandably, some are there because they just followed the trend or their friends. So being stuck in a course that they have simply no interest in, restless youths starts to hate and neglect their studies. This in turn causes some grief to Facil who sincerely was trying to teach the students what he knows. One example he stated was, during one class when the students had to hand up homework, some didn't bother to do. Some of the works are not to the mark, and barely a handful made the requirements. He asked nicely if those who didn't get a good grade would wish to redo their assignments, and the answer was a tired, half-hearted... No.

I remembered during my assignments grading sessions, we would wail or even silently weep if we fail. And beg for a chance to re-do. And a lecturer like Facil would have been like an angel sent from the different powers we've all been collectively praying to. And sleep is usually forsaken. So we can finish the homework... Or die trying.

And that's how I became so... Pampered. And I would only want to work with motivated people. I would turn nasty to lazy people. Really nasty. And here's my half-hearted shout out to some interns who worked with me before. You guys are diamonds in the rough. But your laziness make me look down on you. Go polish up and come back to me. I would then show you this warm side of me that I reserved for like-minded people.

Oh wait, THE END. Hypothetically.

Friday, January 14, 2011

2011- FINALLY


Finally people! My internet is back up.

-

Saturday, January 01, 2011

2011


It's already 2011! Unfortunately due to a small, alright HUGE technical glitch, I can't be posting anything too lengthy. Currently writing this on 3G. Until my Internet is back up in two weeks time, this is the latest you will hear from me. Buzz me if you want to keep in touch with me!