Sunday, January 27, 2013

Life is like Rainbows

Sometimes you'll look forward to a rainbow during the rain... And sometimes you get unexpectedly surprised by a rainbow after a rain. Sometimes the rainbow doesn't appear. Sometimes the rainbow appear just only for you.

Mum's taking chemo therapy. And with each chemo session, she'll be back in the hospital within 8 days. High fever and other side effects that plagues the chemo-patient. It pains to see her suffering, but we're taking one day at a time, hoping and praying fervently that this will cure and reduce the changes of the cancer ever coming back again.

See her frail at home or at the hospital just send waves of helplessness and sadness over and over me. Dad quit his job since last year, to take care of my mum. And he's so strong, so stable. I think without him, I would be a pile of mess. Because I see in him, what I need to be, what I need to let others feel, I'm behaving stronger.

But don't let it deny others of knowing that I have feelings too. I understand that it's a delicate situation for some to talk to me about or to comfort me. Just approach me with tact. And remember that I am worried. I am sick with worry. I'm strong but I'm human too. If you find it uncomfortable to talk to me about, we can avoid that topic all together, I'm fine with that I guess.

I just wish that there is something I can do.

-end-