Fruits of Labor

Finally saw the last movie that I worked on on the big screen. 

Pacific Rim was one of the greatest and extremely enjoyable movie that I have had the fortune to work on in ILM-Singapore.

 

The whole year and more of toiling and supporting the artists as a production assistant had been a truthfully enjoyable experience. I struggled, I overcame, I cried, I improved, I suggest, I fail, I was comforted and I was inspired. And I inspire. As much as they might not realize, everyone on the project touched me in some way or another and without them I can't improve and be better. And likewise, I hoped I did provide people with inspiration and a valuable take-away from the project. 

I'm currently struggling in my new role but after viewing the movie two days back and watching everyone's reaction, I realized just how important my role as production can be. It's easy to make things really easy for yourself. It's harder to inspire people to want to get the job done, and to feel part of the team. 

And I get inspired all over again. 

-end-

Living As You Can

It's harder to do.

People who care for you would just keep trying to plan things for you. Keeps advising you... But in reality they ain't just advising, they want you to take that path.

I realized with people I care about, I might have the tendency to do the same. But I would think about it. And try to give a sincere advice or just simply be supportive.

We are each very different people and the choices we make have very different meaning and impact on each of us.

My parents wanted me to take a very different path. Perhaps if I had been more obedient, I would have been a mediocre doctor. Perhaps I would be attending high-society tea parties. Take glamorous photos with my rich friends or accomplished friends in the same line. Or perhaps I would be suffering from depression. Unable to meet up to expectations, and always trying but failing and blaming my parents for life for the choices I wouldn't have made, but made it just for them anyways.

The point is; Would I have been happier? Who can sincerely guarantee that the choices would lead me to a happier life?
Why can't people accept that I'm genuinely happy with the choices I've made? That I choose not to go to university, that I choose to pick a hard industry to survive in, that I choose to continue dancing despite my weaker health conditions?

That I choose what I do. And there may be choices I regret, but I blame no one else but only my own folly that I've gone down that path. And in the same manner, truly learn from that life lesson, and grow as a person.

Inner Beauty

It's what's on the inside that counts.

I stopped creating Roses of Saddness... Instead I found Baking therapeutic for me to get through these times.

Let me introduce you to... Ugly Bakery.

Ugly Apple Crumble.
Ugly Chocolate Cookies.
Ugly Jam Muffins & Disfigured Almond Cookies (in a bento box together)

And the latest...

Really Ugly Spinach, Peas and Cheese Pies.

How do they make them taste good and look good? I've only managed one aspect of it... They do taste superb.

-end-

Life is like Rainbows

Sometimes you'll look forward to a rainbow during the rain... And sometimes you get unexpectedly surprised by a rainbow after a rain. Sometimes the rainbow doesn't appear. Sometimes the rainbow appear just only for you.

Mum's taking chemo therapy. And with each chemo session, she'll be back in the hospital within 8 days. High fever and other side effects that plagues the chemo-patient. It pains to see her suffering, but we're taking one day at a time, hoping and praying fervently that this will cure and reduce the changes of the cancer ever coming back again.

See her frail at home or at the hospital just send waves of helplessness and sadness over and over me. Dad quit his job since last year, to take care of my mum. And he's so strong, so stable. I think without him, I would be a pile of mess. Because I see in him, what I need to be, what I need to let others feel, I'm behaving stronger.

But don't let it deny others of knowing that I have feelings too. I understand that it's a delicate situation for some to talk to me about or to comfort me. Just approach me with tact. And remember that I am worried. I am sick with worry. I'm strong but I'm human too. If you find it uncomfortable to talk to me about, we can avoid that topic all together, I'm fine with that I guess.

I just wish that there is something I can do.

-end-

Blue Blue June

It's bloody hot at this time of the year. I would don on summer clothings if not for the fact that if I lift my arms up when I'm wearing a sleeveless, there would be a cascade of sweat. In fact, two cascades. It's that bloody hot.
...
I said too much. Here's a happy sketch. I sketched so I can feel happier. It works. Happy sketch.