I went to the community club today to try to sign up for the dance lessons. But.. I am TWO WEEKS TOO LATE! They started the lessons already. And that means the next batch of classes only start in mid-APRIL! What! This shows that I should have done it earlier! But nooooo... I must hesitate out of fear. Dang it. But I will have the determination to wait till then.
TWO MONTHS!
That gives me time to buy better shoes and save up for the lesson. Ooohhhh... I can't wait!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Dancing Tiger, Hidden Passion
So here's the dilly-o, i chickened out. Not in the way that you would believe though. I decided to put all my attention to self improvement, family and career first. After all, only when you start loving yourself will you love others the way you wished to be loved.
I still like him, i admit. But its not a big deal whether he knows or not, and there is no need to risk a nice working relationship to see if he likes me back. Its not worth it. Besides, he seems awfully intimate with this colleague of mine, might be close friends or even something more? So WHY torture myself so over something so trivial? I am born with love in me, there is no need to deny it.
And so, I start on a journey to love myself. Not in that pervert way, but to be more confident, to appreciate myself more. To do that first, i must find out what I hate about myself. That done, I will slowly go through my wish list and through means and ways, change the habits i hate about myself.
So first thing I did, I went to source for Ballroom Dancing Lessons. YES I AM STILL LOOKING FOR A PARTNER TO GO WITH. BUT No, I don't have to depend on others to do something I really want to accomplish. So... hee hee hee... its either Latin Dancing (Jive) or Social Dancing or Ballroom Dancing (Waltz). Ah, finally, back to dancing.
Did I ever mentioned that my secret dream was to dance? As a performer.
When I was young, i wanted to learn Ballet, i wanted to be a Ballerina. Hahaha, I practised so hard, I had such a burning passion for it. Then came the fateful day and yeah... I tried again in secondary school, i joined Rhythmic Gym which is a BEAUTIFUL combination of Gymastic and Dancing, where grace meets strength and poise is the head of the meeting. I loved it, and once again practised with all my heart and soul. There was alot of issues then, what with the popular kids hating me, and my inability to fit in (I just can't seem to reach out to people). But I perserve and stood my ground.
I am here for the dance. Not for you guys.
Once again, my leg gave way. But I bit down on my lips, HARD, and continue this path i chose. Then my school had a change of principal, whom promptly shut down alot of more costly CCAs, including mine, and I had to join Chinese Dancing, which is very very slack. I am shocked at the lack of grace and strength that dancing provides in the Dance Club, though the people there are more friendly and less hoity-toity. This could be due to the training programme by the coaches. In Dance Club, the trainer developed this training programme to let people enjoy dancing. In R.Gym, the coach trained us for competition, trained us to be performers, one that performs in public, in terms of how you carry yourself, how you behave in public when you're there for a performance, how you look (muscles and curves, yes, curves) whether you like it or not, it comes in a package. I loved it.
Now my path leads me to working as a co-ordinator for Animation, which i love as well. Infact, i rather like the Arts (Music, Dance, Theatre, Arts). But i miss dancing, where i trained and tone my body to have curves (which now is a lump of fats in all the wrong places). Dancing, where being light on your feet needs you to be poise and graceful at ALL TIMES.
And with a clear path of what I want to do, i can find time to slot in what I love. I am still drawing.
Tomorrow I am going to ask for more information and if possible, sign up for the lessons. This is so exciting!!! I will update again tomorrow! :D
Unfortunately, I am gonna keep this a secret from my colleagues as they tend not to believe me about me dancing before. I guess, you can't judge a book by its cover. I am a rather plump person, but I was decently thin and very graceful at one point in my life. I can still be. But not at your laughing expense. Not this part of me.
Peace out!
I still like him, i admit. But its not a big deal whether he knows or not, and there is no need to risk a nice working relationship to see if he likes me back. Its not worth it. Besides, he seems awfully intimate with this colleague of mine, might be close friends or even something more? So WHY torture myself so over something so trivial? I am born with love in me, there is no need to deny it.
And so, I start on a journey to love myself. Not in that pervert way, but to be more confident, to appreciate myself more. To do that first, i must find out what I hate about myself. That done, I will slowly go through my wish list and through means and ways, change the habits i hate about myself.
So first thing I did, I went to source for Ballroom Dancing Lessons. YES I AM STILL LOOKING FOR A PARTNER TO GO WITH. BUT No, I don't have to depend on others to do something I really want to accomplish. So... hee hee hee... its either Latin Dancing (Jive) or Social Dancing or Ballroom Dancing (Waltz). Ah, finally, back to dancing.
Did I ever mentioned that my secret dream was to dance? As a performer.
When I was young, i wanted to learn Ballet, i wanted to be a Ballerina. Hahaha, I practised so hard, I had such a burning passion for it. Then came the fateful day and yeah... I tried again in secondary school, i joined Rhythmic Gym which is a BEAUTIFUL combination of Gymastic and Dancing, where grace meets strength and poise is the head of the meeting. I loved it, and once again practised with all my heart and soul. There was alot of issues then, what with the popular kids hating me, and my inability to fit in (I just can't seem to reach out to people). But I perserve and stood my ground.
I am here for the dance. Not for you guys.
Once again, my leg gave way. But I bit down on my lips, HARD, and continue this path i chose. Then my school had a change of principal, whom promptly shut down alot of more costly CCAs, including mine, and I had to join Chinese Dancing, which is very very slack. I am shocked at the lack of grace and strength that dancing provides in the Dance Club, though the people there are more friendly and less hoity-toity. This could be due to the training programme by the coaches. In Dance Club, the trainer developed this training programme to let people enjoy dancing. In R.Gym, the coach trained us for competition, trained us to be performers, one that performs in public, in terms of how you carry yourself, how you behave in public when you're there for a performance, how you look (muscles and curves, yes, curves) whether you like it or not, it comes in a package. I loved it.
Now my path leads me to working as a co-ordinator for Animation, which i love as well. Infact, i rather like the Arts (Music, Dance, Theatre, Arts). But i miss dancing, where i trained and tone my body to have curves (which now is a lump of fats in all the wrong places). Dancing, where being light on your feet needs you to be poise and graceful at ALL TIMES.
And with a clear path of what I want to do, i can find time to slot in what I love. I am still drawing.
Tomorrow I am going to ask for more information and if possible, sign up for the lessons. This is so exciting!!! I will update again tomorrow! :D
Unfortunately, I am gonna keep this a secret from my colleagues as they tend not to believe me about me dancing before. I guess, you can't judge a book by its cover. I am a rather plump person, but I was decently thin and very graceful at one point in my life. I can still be. But not at your laughing expense. Not this part of me.
Peace out!
Sunday, February 07, 2010
Wish List.
Okay, this is more like a list of what i want to do this year.
1) I want to meet up with my friends on a regular basis.
2) I want to improve even more! (with regards to my drawings/paintings)
3) I want to learn a dance or dance on a regular basis. (NOT CLUB)
4) I want to learn how to ride a motorbike.
5) I want to learn how to swim. (Currently practising every weekend when possible)
6) I want to be more lady-like. Less reckless. (not good either at work or family)
AND I WILL DO IT!
A little something for People who comes here.
Happy Chinese New Year 2010.
I sincerely wish the best for everyone close to me. Tomorrow gonna be a happier day right?
I've got a secret, i am planning something on the 13 Feb 2010. Will I chicken out?
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Different Perspective.
Everyone has a different perspective of things.
Imagine a world or at least a ballroom-big store, as classy as the Upper-end Prada or LV stores in the Upper-end part of town. But wait, when you first stepped in, you're awed and surprised. Its exactly the classiness of those above-mentioned stores, with gold trimmings on the walls, plush deep blood-red carpets. And panels and panels of glass as tall as the ceilling sectioning the areas. Its that classy. But within this world, are the objects of your deepest desire. You feel comforted, joy, security and a sense of overwhelming emotions rolled over you like a wave of refreshing seawater.
So what's the object you desire? What pops up in your head? More often than not, you would be thinking rationally, like money is what you desire or power and highly possibly monetary objects of mentions.
My very honest answer; it was an acarde of my dreams. Its quiet with beautiful classical music pouring like golden heavy syrup over the place. And there are no other games except for the UFO catchers that I apparently have a soft spot for. But its not like the cluttered ugly machines in the public acardes. These are stand alones. Like those limited edition bags placed under a soft warm light, these machines have their very own space. And there are no cheap stuff toys inside them. These machines are functioning well and very beautiful with their sliver and black designs. (hints of pink too) But they're empty inside. Instead the prizes of YOUR choice will be displayed on tiers on the HUGE glass display on the right of the store. These, again, are not cluttered. These are COLLECTABLES. Limited edition of my obssession Kapibara-san's plush toys, apparels, and even beautifully crafted figurines.
In my world, as i stepped in that acarade, and was awed by all these, experiencing all these emotions, i noticed someone standing behind me, subtly noticing that he was the one who brought me to this place. I was running around the place, tears streaming down my face, and as I was about to turn around to thank him, he hugged me from behind, i felt his smile, and i turned around. I couldn't see a face, its just a black shadow, but yet yet yet, he's familar. He's part of the world which makes me feel happy and joy. And I cried. From Happiness.
And when I wake up from this little bubble dream, I cried from sadness. For I know who this person must be. And yet, its like the illusional world of my dreams, wanting something so impossibly hard to attain, its just so human of me right?
I just wish, he didnt matter to me so much. It took me one dream to realise how much he means to me. How much I didnt realise. But now when I did, I wish I never did. This bubble of mine is my perspective of my dream world. Before you make comments, think of what's yours. And you'll understand alot about yourself.
Imagine a world or at least a ballroom-big store, as classy as the Upper-end Prada or LV stores in the Upper-end part of town. But wait, when you first stepped in, you're awed and surprised. Its exactly the classiness of those above-mentioned stores, with gold trimmings on the walls, plush deep blood-red carpets. And panels and panels of glass as tall as the ceilling sectioning the areas. Its that classy. But within this world, are the objects of your deepest desire. You feel comforted, joy, security and a sense of overwhelming emotions rolled over you like a wave of refreshing seawater.
So what's the object you desire? What pops up in your head? More often than not, you would be thinking rationally, like money is what you desire or power and highly possibly monetary objects of mentions.
My very honest answer; it was an acarde of my dreams. Its quiet with beautiful classical music pouring like golden heavy syrup over the place. And there are no other games except for the UFO catchers that I apparently have a soft spot for. But its not like the cluttered ugly machines in the public acardes. These are stand alones. Like those limited edition bags placed under a soft warm light, these machines have their very own space. And there are no cheap stuff toys inside them. These machines are functioning well and very beautiful with their sliver and black designs. (hints of pink too) But they're empty inside. Instead the prizes of YOUR choice will be displayed on tiers on the HUGE glass display on the right of the store. These, again, are not cluttered. These are COLLECTABLES. Limited edition of my obssession Kapibara-san's plush toys, apparels, and even beautifully crafted figurines.
In my world, as i stepped in that acarade, and was awed by all these, experiencing all these emotions, i noticed someone standing behind me, subtly noticing that he was the one who brought me to this place. I was running around the place, tears streaming down my face, and as I was about to turn around to thank him, he hugged me from behind, i felt his smile, and i turned around. I couldn't see a face, its just a black shadow, but yet yet yet, he's familar. He's part of the world which makes me feel happy and joy. And I cried. From Happiness.
And when I wake up from this little bubble dream, I cried from sadness. For I know who this person must be. And yet, its like the illusional world of my dreams, wanting something so impossibly hard to attain, its just so human of me right?
I just wish, he didnt matter to me so much. It took me one dream to realise how much he means to me. How much I didnt realise. But now when I did, I wish I never did. This bubble of mine is my perspective of my dream world. Before you make comments, think of what's yours. And you'll understand alot about yourself.
Thursday, January 07, 2010
Why, Hello!
Hello there indeed.
In a weird sort of mood lately. Want to be happy yet wish to cry at the same time.
Anywayz, Here's the picture of 2009. I photographed it as I've removed my scanner and stored it elsewhere.
Happy 2010 to everyone and myself.
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