The Golden Rule

An excerpt from Wikipedia.

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The Golden Rule or ethic of reciprocity is a maxim, ethical code, or morality that essentially states either of the following:

1. One should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself (positive form)
2. One should not treat others in ways that one would not like to be treated (negative/prohibitive form, also called the Silver Rule)

The Golden Rule is arguably the most essential basis for the modern concept of human rights, in which each individual has a right to just treatment, and a reciprocal responsibility to ensure justice for others. A key element of the Golden Rule is that a person attempting to live by this rule treats all people with consideration, not just members of his or her in-group. The Golden Rule has its roots in a wide range of world cultures, and is a standard which different cultures use to resolve conflicts.

The Golden Rule has a long history, and a great number of prominent religious figures and philosophers have restated its reciprocal, bilateral nature in various ways (not limited to the above forms). As a concept, the Golden Rule has a history that long predates the term "Golden Rule" (or "Golden law", as it was called from the 1670s). The ethic of reciprocity was present in certain forms in the philosophies of ancient Babylon, Egypt, Persia, India, Greece, Judea, and China.

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Basically, this post is to share an experience I faced today. How I had behaved out of line though I had always stood by this Golden Rule all my conscious life. Hopefully you will leave this web blog with food for thought.

The working day after a long weekend or a public holiday is unfortunately the busiest of the week. Backlogs from your own end, backlogs from your client's end, a result of the joyous i-can-leave-it-till-the-next-working-day attitude on the working day prior to the public holiday or long weekend. I had my fair share of sudden work piled on me, so though it was tempting, I actually finished my required work on last Friday, clearly leaving only the bare minimum to do for today. (I've to plan for work for the next working day too, being a Production Co-ordinator). And indeed, I spared no effort to clear as much as possible, knowing that today, something, something MIGHT go wrong.

And so far, everything was peachy. Doing what I've planned, and co-ordinating work for the rest of the week, clearing enquires and inquires for all my on-going projects. Thankfully, my partner is there to help me through with my work. Bless her soul. It was busy, but its good to be busy at work then to have nothing to do. So I'm rushing some projects that got through today, while making sure others is on track.

Then came one particular email requesting for file on my end. This lady called me up after I replied that I can only send by end of today, requesting that I send as soon as possible or preferably, NOW, as she wants to settle it within the working hours. I told her to give me 10 mins to get back to her with the files (as I'm working on something else at that moment). 10 mins passed, and I cleared what I was doing. I was getting ready to prep and send the files over, when she called up and just rudely said: "Hey, if you're not sending, then I'll go get the files from your studio itself. What are they doing, why so slow?"

I replied, "They'll need time too, I've just received the files from them." Which is surprise, surprise, the truth. They really just sent me the file. This isn't an excuse or a ploy to get her off my back.

She replied: "well, so that means YOU didn't send the file over then? (angry pause) I NEED to go home, you know? can you send over now?"

I calmly replied: "Yes, but it'll take at least 5 mins for the files (as they are bigger than average documents, these are audio files) to reach you. I'm sending over now."

Lady retorted: "Well, its been more than 10 mins since you said you'll get back to me with the files. I need to go home okay? When can you send it? When?!"

I looked at the clock, 6.19pm. I started at the numbers with a sudden silence, and replied softly: "I'm sending...now."

She muttered a few more things that I couldn't recall. And when she hung up, I was quietly sitting at my place, staring at the files attached in the email I am typing. My boss was behind me the whole time, he heard part of the conversation. And he asked my partner who was on the line. She replied him and that is when I burst.

"KNN CCB. That N*BE CH** B*E says SHE NEEDS TO GO HOME. She needs to go home and can't even wait for 5 mins and I'm wasting her time. Last week, for 3 days straight I waited past 8pm, even till 10pm without complaining, only worried that the email jams up or something. Patiently waiting for HER files to come in. Then F**KING came in at 10PM, and its not like my job ends there. Kao Pei Kao Bu! I still need to download and check through and F*CKING D*I JI*O labelled as NOT APPROVED. But I never complain, because I understand her team is also rushing. I just told her that my timing will get affected. DID I ONCE SAY "OI, B*TCH FASTER, CUZ I NEED TO GO HOME"?! NO. Because WORK is WORK. And she dare to say such things! KNN CCB!"

And my Boss was staring at me, saying numerous statements that didn't get through to me through my temper, and then one statement rang out loud through the haze of anger: "well, just pass her the files then."

I was shamed-faced and thoroughly embarrassed. My boss is right. I just have to send her the files. I reflected silently and (unfortunately) sullenly as I drafted the email and send the files to her. And I realized how poorly I've conducted myself as a co-ordinator. When I failed to hand up the files required by the deadline stated, I'm incompetent, its no fault of the Gods' or others. I should reflect on myself instead of finding an excuse to blow up.

Secondly, though I may be understanding, I have no right to assume others will be. It's my job then, to let them understand the restrictions to meeting the deadlines, as even baking bread will still need time even with a top-notch oven. Failure in understanding the restrictions by my clients reflect only on my inability to educate them on the problem.

Thirdly, giving way to others, doesn't mean others will give way to you. It's very much like a confession. You confess to your crush in hopes of getting accepted. But ultimately, he or she has a right, YES , a right to reject you. And in truth, you have a right to reject others too. So giving way to others is like watering your neighbors' plants. You HAVE to expect nothing in return. Unless, of course, you demand for it upfront. Then it'll be a business transaction.

So that concludes this shameful event of mine, and I'm sharing it publicly to remind myself of the shame I've caused myself. And this will be a reminder never again to behave so immaturely.

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