Happy Birthday D-Wong!

Happy Birthday Desmond Wong!

Lazy?!

LAZY?! AM I?!

Before i go ballastic on the poor sod who said that to me, i just want to clarify... "Yes, I am."

Now I can claw him to near-death without regrets (Keep them alive. They may be a source of stress relief in the future). Stupid Mr D. He NEEDS to learn not to judge people when he didn't even have faith in them. I mean, he's like the direct opposite of me. I'm getting the hang of acting Sunshine and Butterflies when I'm gloomy,He's just a plain old grumpy man EVEN during days of Sunshine and Butterflies. *grumble grumble*

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YES MR D CALLED ME LAZY. PUNCH OF FIRE!

Loss

I don't deal with losses well, and I think several if not all who seen me coping with losses will know.

And suddenly, there's this unexplainable and unrestrained fear of losing something else. This twisting feeling in my heart. The loud thump thump thump of my heart beating in pain.

And the first thing I thought of first, if before its lost, I WILL THROW IT AWAY. Because then, I would not be hurt. Instead, I can live with the fact, that I am the one who made that decision. But its selfish, and in my better judgement, I have decided to let it go slowly. And someday I'll get used to it. And when the day comes, I'm strong enough to smile and walk away from it all.

Goodbye Sanity...

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Its moments like this that I truly hate myself. For punctuating every serious honest thought with a joke.

So that no one will know the hurt within. I depised myself twisted self.

I Bought Something

I bought this compilation of 101 chinese love songs (mostly oldies). And so far, am on Disc 2, and I RECOGNIZE ALL THE SONGS! Oh My God. I cried periodically. All those songs. THIS IS WHAT LOVE SONGS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE. ALL THAT EMOTIONS and SWEET Notions of wanting. Not "sexy shorty" and "sex you up" music nowadays. I feel so old. And so alone at the moment.

101 Songs! Still listening to them! Oh... sweet sweet love... Oh.... *CRIES*

I think I would not sleep till I listen to them all.

SOTD - The Fire Within

Can you hear it?

"Pssshhhhhhh"

The sound of the Fire within me being doused.

Work is being hard to handle. And insults were not taken lightly with a pinch of salt. I only take them with my fist in your face, but nooooo... my best friend did not agree to bail me out of jail. Instead he spent his bail money on a figurine. I am just waiting for him to blog about how good the figurine is. *sulk sulk sulk*

Seriously though, to cure me of my doused fire. I went straight to paint. I whacked some painting which I trashed. Looked like a Cat played with my wacom Mouse and saved. And I went back to basic pencil and digital paint over it.

And ta-da.

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i feel better already. Fire REKINDLED!