Life is like Rainbows

Sometimes you'll look forward to a rainbow during the rain... And sometimes you get unexpectedly surprised by a rainbow after a rain. Sometimes the rainbow doesn't appear. Sometimes the rainbow appear just only for you.

Mum's taking chemo therapy. And with each chemo session, she'll be back in the hospital within 8 days. High fever and other side effects that plagues the chemo-patient. It pains to see her suffering, but we're taking one day at a time, hoping and praying fervently that this will cure and reduce the changes of the cancer ever coming back again.

See her frail at home or at the hospital just send waves of helplessness and sadness over and over me. Dad quit his job since last year, to take care of my mum. And he's so strong, so stable. I think without him, I would be a pile of mess. Because I see in him, what I need to be, what I need to let others feel, I'm behaving stronger.

But don't let it deny others of knowing that I have feelings too. I understand that it's a delicate situation for some to talk to me about or to comfort me. Just approach me with tact. And remember that I am worried. I am sick with worry. I'm strong but I'm human too. If you find it uncomfortable to talk to me about, we can avoid that topic all together, I'm fine with that I guess.

I just wish that there is something I can do.

-end-

Blue Blue June

It's bloody hot at this time of the year. I would don on summer clothings if not for the fact that if I lift my arms up when I'm wearing a sleeveless, there would be a cascade of sweat. In fact, two cascades. It's that bloody hot.
...
I said too much. Here's a happy sketch. I sketched so I can feel happier. It works. Happy sketch.

The title of this is SAD

So it seems that I,
Am in a mood for Haikus.
Darn, poet I'm not.

Leaving! On a bus coach!

Going on a short trip to Malaysia. Plagued by a sudden onset of coughs. But I think I'll be fine just before I enter the coach. Woohoo!

Hobbling Hope

It's been so long, yet one can hope.

And because it's been so long, it hit me unexpectedly.

My legs gave way in public yesterday.
While the pain in one leg is excruciating, it's the emotional shock that is unbearable. I had to restrain myself from crying while I hobble along... while polite people try their best not to stare. It's not a big commotion like fainting or something similar. But hobbling still draws non-stares.

I know I should consult a doctor now that it's back. But I'm scared of the results. Without a definite result, one can hope that it'll go away with healthier diets and healthier lifestyle. And besides, one's willpower and faith can do amazing things at times.

I'm not in denial. I just don't see the point in being told once more that there's nothing I can do.

:)