Letter to Santa

Dear Santa,

I would like something good to eat on Christmas day. I ain't too fussy. So surprise me.

Love,

Yunda

P.s, thanks for fulfilling my last year's wish.

That time of the year again

I did this up for my Mother's Cancer Doctor. Hope she'll like it.

Fairy Tales

The Little Mermaid.

Many of the generation X or generation Y would remember The Little Mermaid as portrayed by Disney, where little Ariel falls in love, traded her voice and left everything behind for a man she fell in love with. Apparently just from first sight. Well, Eric is good looking enough for us to accept that without too much grumbling.

You would also probably remember the happy ending with the rainbow

shinning across the blue blue sky as Ariel and Prince Eric's wedding ship sailed off. And oh, what a beautiful beautiful show it is. Made you teared. Made you laughed. Made you smiled warmly while it drew a temporary conclusion to the chapter in the characters' lives.

But wait! Amidst the cheery songs and beautiful graphics...Does anyone remember the Hans Christian Andersen version? Its the original version of the adapted Disney's version. You can wiki it for the full story, but let me just run you through the gist of it.

The little mermaid in this story, met a human prince where she fell in love with, at first sight as well. And she saved him from drowning. As well. Then she started asking her grandma about humans. That's when she realized that mermaids live for over 300 years, 200 years more than humans, but they will die and perish as sea foam and cease to exist. However, humans have an eternal soul, a beautiful form that lives on in Heaven after their demise. She did her maths, and felt that the soul's a much better deal in the long run. So the little mermaid yearned for the prince and the eternal soul and sought the help from a local sea witch, who actually ain't as evil as plump, scheming but oh-so-charismatic Ursula. Apparently being a witch is like an occupation. Somebody got to do it. But there are side effects of the spell. Beautiful legs that can dance wonderfully, looking light as feather. Excruciating pain piercing the soles of said feet and terribly terribly bleeding. And oh yeah. She had to trade her prized possession, her intoxicating voice for the spell to work. And no, the prince do not just have to kiss her, but he'll have to love her and marry her. Then she will gain a soul and live together with him. Else she'll die and disintegrate into sea foam. "She'll also be Heartbroken" need not be mentioned. I think that is pretty obvious.

So off the little mermaid went. But... the prince didn't know she's the savior. And no, there's no singing crabs, no beautiful lights, no romantic boating excursions, and no meddling seagulls to help save the little mermaid. And here's the part that takes the cake: as part of the spell, she can dance very well, thus the prince loved to see her dance. And dances she did, out of love, but every step is like a sword piercing her feet. AND SHE CAN'T MAKE A SOUND.

You ever felt a pin pricking your foot? Remember screaming and yelling? Now imagine the pin is now 10 times the current size. And imagine it going all the way into your sole.

So the prince started to fall for the little mermaid, but he still felt a little something something for the "savior" that saved him from drowning. And here's the other part that takes the cake: the little mermaid saved him from drowning, and left him on the beach. A temple girl came along, by sheer luck and coincidence, the prince regained conscious at that moment, and like a little chick gaining vision for the first time, assumed that the first person he saw was his "savior". Like, how much bad luck the little mermaid needed already. But this cuts so close to home to real life. Everything is all about timing. Which many can relate to not having.

Third part of the story. Prince had to get married to another princess for political reasons, but being hot-blooded and selfish, he refused! Saying he would rather marry the little mermaid for he had, by that time, developed feelings for her. As a reader, you felt joy, ELATION. She got her man. And its not easy dang it. Dancing to entertain him when even walking hurted. Does it end like this? Happily ever after?

NO IT DIDN'T.

King's mad that prince didn't want to marry the princess due to some mute little dancer, even if she is a hottie. But he still made the princess pay a visit to the kingdom, probably in hope of conning or coaxing the prince to marry a hottie, but princess material instead. Technically, the little mermaid is a princess, and her father's a SEA king. King of a small land would had had a better deal with the little mermaid, but who could blame him? He didn't know. And she couldn't explain. And then Hans Christian Andersen shoves another fist into your warm warm chest. The princess turned out to be the temple girl. Yes you heard me right. Princess was there to for education. Prince immediately was all over her, and vice versa. And the wedding was arranged. Of course, the little mermaid despaired. More of the lost love, and later, the loss of her family for naught, and even later, of all the pain she suffered and the imminent death. But family is always there for you. And her sisters were actually monitoring her from the sea. Seeing that their beloved sister was doomed, they cut their hair, their collective prized possession, in exchange for a magical dagger. All the little mermaid had to do was to stab the prince with the dagger and let his blood drip upon her legs to turn back into a mermaid, full health included. But she couldn't do it. Because she had a heart. And she plunged herself into the ocean, accepting her death, much to the despair of her sisters.

Lo and behold, she found herself floating above the ocean after darkness closed over her. Turned out that due to her drive to get a soul, she became a daughter of the air, a spirit who could ascent to Heavens after 300 years of good deeds to children. Here's the f-up part. If the said children behaved badly, the daughters of the air had to cry, and each tear is one additional day to their service timing. As if each of them had not already suffered so much to become a spirit. The only highlight is that if the child behaved well, a year is taken off. But tell me, just looking around you, how many well behaved children are there? Oh the poor poor daughters of the air.

That's a tale to make you cry your empathy out.

As for the Disney's version, I don't hate it. It's actually my favorite animated film of all times. But this I must declare. I cried at the ending. Not of joy but of despair and empathy. Look at King Triton. He lost his daughter, he found her but gave up everything else to save her. Only to have to give her away to another man.

Look at him. Stand in his shoes. Would you have been able to do the same?

____________________________________________________________

sometimes to make someone else happy, you have to sacrifice your own happiness.

*Cries*

Why Not?

[Its a tumblr image that someone linked me.]

Before I finally drifted into dreamland I heard a chorus of inane giggles coming from behind the curtains of forest nearby. But I didn't care, I had nothing to fear. Whoever they might be, those people, they were my subjects.

__________________________________________________

How apt.

Nice Day

I had a nice day.

I HAD a nice day.

And you went ahead and ruined it.

Thank you EQ music.

Married To Work

I'm married to work. Basically living and breathing work. I thought I might share with you some influences that work might have affected my life...

In health...

In the choice of companionship...

In technology...

In socializing...

In taking care of self-image...

Guess what I'm going to work on next.

HELL YEAH.

Museum Magic: Trip To Peranakan Museum

Its magical but its nothing that will blow your socks away.

Its just a museum. But still. I love places like that. Immerse yourself in culture. I barely comprehend the mere understanding of the Peranakan Culture. But the Museum provides me with an insight to what is. I still hardly understand. And thats the magic of it. Drawing me back, to learn more, to find out more. Curiousity.

The Proletariat Poetry Factory was there, offering a free poetry composition for a word.

Solitary, soul

Living outside the rhythm of love

and Life.

Without desire on finds peace in

Nightfall and disconnectedness-
Detachment.

An inward sustenance, an emotional appeasement,

No one can break me but me-

Waste not want not
Always apart

In a soul sommunion with oneself

In pockets outside of time.

_________________________________________________

Fate

Sometimes, it isn't Fate. Its about getting off your ass, making that move and changing your life for the better. I need to evolve faster, better, faster.

Here's Something Interesting for my Readers. Am going down to it later.

See you there if Fate permits.

_________________________________________________________________________

Explore Singapore: The Magic of the Night

20 Nov 2010

Saturday | 6.00 p.m. to 12.00 a.m. | @ Peranakan Museum, 39 Armenian Street

重逢

你有你，我有我， 不同的路。 为什么今天要这样重逢？
当你和我随人群擦身而过, 请你不要把思念写在脸上.

1:37AM

i am scared.

3.45am

Still up. Just completed my work. Not supposed to... but... i can't resist. Just bubbling over with excitement.

Here's a review of the upcoming iPhone Shapes App!!!

(I can't post anymore images, I think I'm not even suppose to post this...)

In case you're not on facebook, here's a link to an article on the Olive iPhone App I was involved in!

Here's a preview of the HD icon for the HD version coming up.

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

_____________________________________________________________

I can't deny it. I'm a full fledged workaholic. I love what I am doing!

YES YOU!

SHAN!

Thanks for being mad for me. Cause I've no energy to even be mad anymore.

You take my anger away from me by being angry for me. XD

Bird Park

I AM GOING TO BIRD PARK ON SATURDAY! I PROMISE TO TAKE PICS!

Ingenuous

Ingenuous

a. Showing innocent or childlike simplicity and candidness.

Some days when its just so frustrating. Some days when enough is enough. Some days that left me gasping for air at the end of them.

And then the person who seemingly created all these mess, comes up to you with an ingenuous look and gleefully told you, "We made it. Thanks to you."

Suddenly, black is no longer black. White is no longer white. Its no longer about being right, being fair. But being there for that person... now and in the near future. Despite all the sh*t.

_

Donkey Craters! [m18 content]

ASSHOLE
1 usually vulgar : anus
2 a usually vulgar : a stupid, incompetent, or detestable person
b usually vulgar : the worst place —used in phrases like asshole of the world

Shan: "its kinda hard to not like someone's who nice"

Me: "its kinda hard to like assholes."

Shan: "but the person you like is an asshole."

Me: "...that is true... I'm amazing that way."

.

.

.

Shan: "its okay, you have your asshole."

Me: "I do. And if I get him, I'll have TWO assholes!" (smiles happily)

MATHS. Makes Life More Optimistic One Greedy Dumb-ass At A Time.

_

Sick

Body's giving way. Need to re-adjust my lifestyle. Feeling terrible... emotionally, mentally, physically. I would if i could, flip the finger at Death and his three other hommies. But damn, they are strong.

Exhausted

Everything that was a whirlwind yesterday, was sort of settled. Forgiveness was begged/demand/cajoled from my hurted self. It literally exhausted me to the core. I slept from 6am - 12pm, periodically sms-ing people back. And from 6pm to 12am. From sheer exhaustion.

Shan is saying that I'm too forgiving. But that's the way I am. And thank you, Shan and Mira, for being there all the way since we're friends. For being angry for me, being angry with me, being angry AT me... Because you guys care for me.

And thanks to people who messaged me, I am fine now. Thank you, thank you for caring. *bows deeply* Life will be better. And hopefully, hot molten rocks will rain upon Boon Keng and crush all chikopeks in there.

what the hell

what the hell man. of all people, more often than not, you would expect more from people close to you. And really. REALLY. To be so insensitive. I no longer care in thinking if i was being needy to my friends or not.

That insensitive comment hurts. ALOT. Bloody crying my eyes right now. what the hell man.

All in A Day.

I Wanna Hold Your Hand

I am sorry for my wistful thinking. Sorry for my naive innocent thinking. Thinking that everyone have equal rights to simple things, like education, job qualification, healthcare and love.

The poor can only try their best at education, give up further studies due to lack of funds. Watch others go on. Despair. Pretend that its okay. Its not.

The lowly educated will forever be considered last when in comes to job. Hardworking? Its okay, we'll work you to the bones for miserable pay. Because you are not that well educated.

Healthcare. You can pay, you get a doctor. Else you watch your loved ones around you suffer. Pretend its okay? Hell no, its not.

Love. I am just never entitled to it. I GIVE UP.

I'm gonna take a long break. Not even sure anyone reads my blog anyways.

Financial Health

A typo error started this post.

Friend: "...wait till your financial health is beter."
Me: "beer? Oh crap. It is like beer."

Yes, currently my financial health is like a mug of frosty cold beer.

Cold, frosty beer that looks damn good across the bar.

An empty, forlorn mug when its in your hands, with the world tipping upside down around you.

Beer. Thats why I stopped drinking.

BOH Gathering

Lots of things have changed since the BOH group last met up with each other.

Undeniably, I see everyone improving. I see everyone moving onwards. And I feel that I've changed too. And somehow, I will be changing even more.

What will happen?


_

waaaaaAARRGHHHH!

I woke up with a Song Pounding in My HEAD. And I don't own the mp3 and only heard it once on youtube eons ago. And I really woke up screaming "waaaaaaaaaaaarrrghhhhh! I'm NOT AFRAID!"

(Hook)

I'm not afraid to take a stand

Everybody come take my hand

We'll walk this road together, through the storm

Whatever weather, cold or warm

Just let you know that, you're not alone

Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road

(Intro)

Yeah, It's been a ride...

I guess I had to go to that place to get to this one

Now some of you might still be in that place

If you're trying to get out, just follow me

I'll get you there

(Verse 1)

You can try and read my lyrics off of this paper before I lay 'em

But you won't take this thing out these words before I say 'em

Cause ain't no way I'm let you stop me from causing mayhem

When I say 'em or do something I do it, I don't give a damn

What you think, I'm doing this for me, so fuck the world

Feed it beans, it's gassed up, if a thing's stopping me

I'mma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly

And all those who look down on me I'm tearing down your balcony

No if ands or buts don't try to ask him why or how can he

From Infinite down to the last Relapse album he's still shit'n

Whether he's on salary, paid hourly

Until he bows out or he shit's his bowels out of him

Whichever comes first, for better or worse

He's married to the game, like a fuck you for christmas

His gift is a curse, forget the earth he's got the urge

To pull his dick from the dirt and fuck the universe

(Hook)

I'm not afraid to take a stand

Everybody come take my hand

We'll walk this road together, through the storm

Whatever weather, cold or warm

Just let you know that, you're not alone

Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road

(Verse 2)

Ok quit playin' with the scissors and shit, and cut the crap

I shouldn't have to rhyme these words in the rhythm for you to know it's a rap

You said you was king, you lied through your teeth

For that fuck your feelings, instead of getting crowned you're getting capped

And to the fans, I'll never let you down again, I'm back

I promise to never go back on that promise, in fact

Let's be honest, that last Relapse CD was "ehhhh"

Perhaps I ran them accents into the ground

Relax, I ain't going back to that now

All I'm tryna say is get back, click-clack BLAOW

Cause I ain't playin' around

There's a game called circle and I don't know how

I'm way too up to back down

But I think I'm still tryna figure this crap out

Thought I had it mapped out but I guess I didn't

This fucking black cloud still follow's me around

But it's time to exercise these demons

These motherfuckers are doing jumping jacks now!

(Hook)

I'm not afraid to take a stand

Everybody come take my hand

We'll walk this road together, through the storm

Whatever weather, cold or warm

Just let you know that, you're not alone

Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road

(Bridge)

And I just can't keep living this way

So starting today, I'm breaking out of this cage

I'm standing up, Imma face my demons

I'm manning up, Imma hold my ground

I've had enough, now I'm so fed up

Time to put my life back together right now

(Verse 3)

It was my decision to get clean, I did it for me

Admittedly I probably did it subliminally for you

So I could come back a brand new me, you helped see me through

And don't even realise what you did, believe me you

I been through the ringer, but they can do little to the middle finger

I think I got a tear in my eye, I feel like the king of

My world, haters can make like bees with no stingers, and drop dead

No more beef flingers, no more drama from now on, I promise

To focus soley on handling my responsibility's as a father

So I solemnly swear to always treat this roof like my daughters and raise it

You couldn't lift a single shingle on it

Cause the way I feel, I'm strong enough to go to the club

Or the corner pub and lift the whole liquor counter up

Cause I'm raising the bar, I shoot for the moon

But I'm too busy gazing at stars, I feel amazing and

(Hook)

I'm not afraid to take a stand

Everybody come take my hand

We'll walk this road together, through the storm

Whatever weather, cold or warm

Just let you know that, you're not alone

Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road

The Dying and The Dead

I'm fine with Death. It simply means the end of someone who existed before. I may grief and I may reminisce about the good times and the wonderful memories. But I can accept Death.

But I don't do well with the dying. I see the pain they go through, and selfishly, when there seems to be no hope for them, I wish for them a quick painless death.

I'm fine with anger, its just a natural feeling when something goes wrong and out of your acceptance. I let it out, then let it go.

But I don't do well holding vengeance or harboring hatred for others. I believe to forgive, also washes yourself clean from this tainted emotion of hate.

So I am not fine with hating the dying. Why do this news pleases me not?

______________________________________________________________

I wanted someone to hold me when I got the news.

And my heart went "Doki doki"

When someone who hardly greets anyone goodbye tries to nonchalantly look for you before they leave, and upon looking at you, wave goodbye.

When someone who stares at you in the eyes and smiles deeply, and didn't answer your question, making you bug him repeatedly to get him to reply.

When someone who sneaks a peek at you and you are sneaking a peek over...

When the heart goes "doki doki"...

___________________________________________________________

When you fall in love....

Blackhole Attacks!

Olalala~ Lacy Underwear!
I can't believe I forgot to do an artwork for September! Oh Mon Dieu!!!
This can not do. After I rest... More to come!

At Work Comic #2

Because It's easier than asking for a boyfriend.

At Work Comic #1

Side note: My Creative Director has taken to "whipping" me when I don't perform up to his standard. I foresee a lovely long enjoyable working relationship with him.
Hahahaha... And here's a comic to show what happens when you accidentally bother a Director about 3 frames in editing...

Happy Birthday D-Wong!

Happy Birthday Desmond Wong!

Lazy?!

LAZY?! AM I?!

Before i go ballastic on the poor sod who said that to me, i just want to clarify... "Yes, I am."

Now I can claw him to near-death without regrets (Keep them alive. They may be a source of stress relief in the future). Stupid Mr D. He NEEDS to learn not to judge people when he didn't even have faith in them. I mean, he's like the direct opposite of me. I'm getting the hang of acting Sunshine and Butterflies when I'm gloomy,He's just a plain old grumpy man EVEN during days of Sunshine and Butterflies. *grumble grumble*

____________________________________________________________

YES MR D CALLED ME LAZY. PUNCH OF FIRE!

Loss

I don't deal with losses well, and I think several if not all who seen me coping with losses will know.

And suddenly, there's this unexplainable and unrestrained fear of losing something else. This twisting feeling in my heart. The loud thump thump thump of my heart beating in pain.

And the first thing I thought of first, if before its lost, I WILL THROW IT AWAY. Because then, I would not be hurt. Instead, I can live with the fact, that I am the one who made that decision. But its selfish, and in my better judgement, I have decided to let it go slowly. And someday I'll get used to it. And when the day comes, I'm strong enough to smile and walk away from it all.

Goodbye Sanity...

______________________________________________________________________________

Its moments like this that I truly hate myself. For punctuating every serious honest thought with a joke.

So that no one will know the hurt within. I depised myself twisted self.

I Bought Something

I bought this compilation of 101 chinese love songs (mostly oldies). And so far, am on Disc 2, and I RECOGNIZE ALL THE SONGS! Oh My God. I cried periodically. All those songs. THIS IS WHAT LOVE SONGS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE. ALL THAT EMOTIONS and SWEET Notions of wanting. Not "sexy shorty" and "sex you up" music nowadays. I feel so old. And so alone at the moment.

101 Songs! Still listening to them! Oh... sweet sweet love... Oh.... *CRIES*

I think I would not sleep till I listen to them all.

SOTD - The Fire Within

Can you hear it?

"Pssshhhhhhh"

The sound of the Fire within me being doused.

Work is being hard to handle. And insults were not taken lightly with a pinch of salt. I only take them with my fist in your face, but nooooo... my best friend did not agree to bail me out of jail. Instead he spent his bail money on a figurine. I am just waiting for him to blog about how good the figurine is. *sulk sulk sulk*

Seriously though, to cure me of my doused fire. I went straight to paint. I whacked some painting which I trashed. Looked like a Cat played with my wacom Mouse and saved. And I went back to basic pencil and digital paint over it.

And ta-da.

__________________________________________________

i feel better already. Fire REKINDLED!

Teenagehood Flashback.

I never did like Eminem after his fiscaco with MJ, and concidentally, thats when all his rap musics are all dis'ing every other artist. However, his new song, caught my attention again. And its all flashback.

[I GREW UP WITH EMINEM ON RADIO!]



Oh hell yeah.

Mafia Gathering

I was the Don's Daughter for the whole of the Mafia Gathering Event. It was so awesome. We looked totally bad-ass and we had fun. Its not as fun as another event I went to. But nevertheless, I enjoyed the gathering alot. Friends, conversation, and karaoke!

Downside, when I got home and took off my red heels, I was like... (rage-voice) "I am gonna burn those pair of heels as an offering to my suffering feet!". I stopped myself in time as firstly, I could not walk well. And secondly, those heels are pretty. Argh.

My left foot's toes are totally okay. But when I went to wash my feet, I saw (to my shock), a crusting of dried blood coating the back of my heels. Apparently the abrasion inflicted from the heels caused my skin to tear and it cut into my flesh. I washed it off. But still a thin line of blood still reminds me the ordeal my left foot went through.

And my right foot's toes were crushed, and I ain't sure when, one of the toes was broken and pierced into my toe flesh. And that's why today, i spent most of my time in bed. I tried to go out for lunch, but when I got home, I nearly weep with relief.

Let this be a warning to myself. NEVER EVER WEAR THOSE HEELS AGAIN. (unless someone is driving me thru and fro, and I have a pair of slippers in my bag as a backup plan)

_________________________________________________________

the thing is, this happened to me more than once. Why I Never Learn?

_

Word!

Didn't sketch today. Was preparing for Saturday's party. Picked out the outfit already. Can't wait.

On a side note. I don't want to die alone. But the idea of taking innocent people down with me doesn't gel well. Dilemma... dilemma...

______________________________________________________
Being emotional means at the very least, I am not hiding my feelings from you.

SOTD

Was distracted by videos of people dancing. (Really good and professionally, not cheesy Internet stars-wannabe.) So SOTD is really rough. My impression of Yakuza, sexy, bad-ass and totally confident of her bare self.

Feeling very happy today. Unexplainable. Work still stressful, but I was happy regardless. I was teasing Mr Director today (and my lovely toe-punching Producer and everyone else around me as well!). That's how good a mood I was in. Usually I can't wait to bite Mr D's head off for ignoring me (its for work! I swear! I totally stop communicating with him outside of work in hopes this infatuation will pass.)

_

SOTD

Sketch of the Day!

Drowning in work and stress, but not giving up just yet! Casting a final spell!

WILL.NOT.GIVE.UP
____________________________________
work harder. work smarter. work happier.

SOTD

Still feel stressed. BUT! I learnt to smile at the people making me stressed. Though my colleagues were like "OHMYGODSHE'SSMILINGCREEPILY", I am certain that at the very least, I was not activating my "BlackHole" emotional state. (Whereby I sucked everyone's emotions and energy by being extremely emotionally depressed)

SOTD

Sketch of the Day!



Feeling a little stressed at work.
So I vent my anger out in picture.

The worst is, its nobody's fault. Everyone is overloaded. So who to blame for the stress of inability to meet dateline? Who to blame when the quality is sub-par? Who to look for when you need help? Then I get so frustrated. Everyone is on the edge too. So this star that used to burn brightly, combusts and became a black hole. Hope you understand. I would also like validation. Please stop making it seem as if you hate to work with me. What did I do wrong?

_

HAPPY YEAH!

Thanks to everyone who turned up today to my rushed gathering of Karaoke and plain hangout-talkcock session.

I AM GOD DAMN HAPPY RIGHT NOW.

SOTD

Sketch of the Day

Appreciation

Appreciation.

How often does someone let you know they appreciate you? How often do you let people know that you appreciate them?

When teasing my best friend yesterday about a girl he's sweet on, the topic changed to who you treasure the most. Half-expecting it to the girl he's sweet on, he replied honestly that the girl will be who he treasures the most in the future (being his other half) but right now, he treasures me, his best friend, alot.

Whether intentional or not, his comment made me smile. Its not a joke, its nothing funny at all. Its just a simple sweetness that comes from within myself. I wanted to let him know, I treasures him alot too. Friends ARE family members that you choose for yourself. I stumbled over my reply. Hope he didn't get it the wrong way. But I just want all my readers to know, its a really nice feeling to be appreciated. For being who I am.

Have you told someone you appreciate them today?


_

Lazy Bum Moving 2~

Sorry for the lull in updates.

Am currently working on two personal projects.

Tired and shagged from all the late nights. Complaining, but still up so late... tsk tsk tsk.

Anyway, here's a sneak peek at one of the project I am working on. (Deadline is 30th July)

Speechless

That's the way I like my man, being a Sunset Lady.

Ahahaha.

Yunda Sayings

When in pile of shit, look over to patch of grass and work your way to better pastures. If one does not look up, one will always be in pile of shit.

Got into a spat of bad luck for the whole week. I've kena scoldings left right and centre. Its my own fault lah. And now people are worried because I seemed sad and that affects others. I mean, com'on. Me sad? Ha ha ha ha *Sobs* I dare you to say you dont feel sad after being scolded! Oh my gosh.


_

Sketch of The Day

10 mins gesture.

Upset

UPSET means feeling or showing uncomfortable feelings of uncertainty.

I was upset today. Its like I am trying to stay cheerful because I am afraid of setting fire to the highly flammable highstrung teammates' mood. But through my smiles and fakely cheerful composition, I am high-strung myself. I didn't realised it. And I guess someone torched me up. And I blew up. Not verbally. But mentally screaming all sorts of curses you normally would not associate with young demure ladies. Curiously enough, one part of me just yakked my furiously typing hands off the keyboard and quited my current means of non-verbal communication, "Skype". A wise move indeed. As without any conversation to distract me, I concentrated with all my might on my work. Without any oxygen to this blazing flame, I cooled off totally and realised that I was highly strung to be really pissed off by highly-strung people. And that I cared, thats why I am upset. If I don't care about you, I would not even bother. I ain't perfect, and I ain't trying to be perfect for someone else, but myself, so I only have myself to report to. I ain't an angel to myself even, but I am happy as I am progressively improving.

And yes, I am still sketching. Never stopping. Its not the quantity as you will get burnt out. But each time you do it, be mindful of WHAT you are doing. Blindly sketching will just be blind sketching. Have an objective each time you sketch. I realize I get better faster if I have an objective. But hey... not all cakes are baked the same way.

Cheerios!

Story Telling Time: Delusional World Part 1

DELUSION implies an inability to distinguish between what is real and what only seems to be real, often as the result of a disordered state of mind.

Sunday, 20th June 2010, Singapore

6.30am
I awoke to a mild sort of darkness. The darkness that most early mornings have. Stretching, I feel a warm sense of contentment washing over my lean body. After washing up, I trotted downstairs for a quick jog and to my pleasant surprise, who should I see waiting by his motorbike but Mr D himself. Leaning his lanky frame against the bike, he toss a helmet to me and gesture for me to hop on. A jog along the shores with Mr D, a bike ride back to my place, the morning couldn't be more perfect.

9am
Sipping my warm sweet tea, I greet my parents as they awoke and shuffled into the kitchen to grab their breakfast I had bought on my way home.

11am
My brother and I then went out together to town, playing some Lan games together, chatting about his school life and daily nonsense stuff. Quarrelling as we get to our lunch destination, I couldn't ask for a more endearing bonding moment with my lovely kin. My friends were already there, gesturing impatiently for me to get over to start lunch. Chatting happily away, I secretly check my handphone to see if there were any messages from anybody. One. Bingo. I blushed happily as I read the simple yet sweet message from Mr D. "Hope you have fun!"

6pm.
Back at home, playing board games, I paused the game halfway to help my family pack some dinner. The chitter-chattering of my family over warm takeaways just cheered me up so much.

10pm.
Painting digitally. I half-smiled to myself as I chatted with my buddies over MSN.

11pm.
Turning in to bed. Tomorrow will be an even BETTER day.

I love my life~!

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