Somethings Just Don't Change... Does it?

Feeling very emo today.

Yesterday went out to play Left 4 Dead with a bunch of friends.(like close to midnight as work ended VERY LATE AGAIN) CRAZY TIME MAN. Its my first time playing at a LAN place. And hearing them cussing while you scream out of terror and out of purely a need to scream, totally different ambience! Most of the time they were just cussing for me to shut up. Hahahahaha. Funny people. Hahahahaha.

Basically this is how they play:

Nims: "...okay guys we need to stick together...and we ambush them at this junction.."

Pooky: "...when I give the signal..."

Rinny: "...alright. Let's do this..."

From any of their POV, their teammates are poised around the door, their guns pointed at it.

SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT.

Nims: "...quick! In here!"

Pooky: "... saving Rinny..."

Rinny: "...Saved! Protect Pooky, health low!"

-Game End"

My team, basically is very similar. But I don't understand how we can lose. Simply dont.

Eddie: "...okay guys we need to stick together...and we ambush them at this junction.."

KKYZ: "...when I give the signal..."

Me: "...what do I do with this?..."

Eddie: "...HOLYSH- DONT THROW THE FIREBOMB IN THE SAFEROOM!.."

KKYZ: "...HOLYSH- PUT IT DOWN NOW! PUT IT DOWN. DON'T THROW! DON'T!..."

From my POV,teammates are poised around the door, their guns are pointed at me.

SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT

KKYZ: "...quick! In here!"

Me: "AHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHH"

Eddie: "... save me! save me!..."

Me: "AHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHH"

Me strolls past Eddie

Eddie: "YUNDA! HERE! HERE! -CUSS CUSS- MF, you just walked pass me!"

Me: "AHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHH"

Me turned around and shoot.

Eddie: "WHERE YOU AIMING?! AIM THE ONE ON TOP OF ME! NOT AROUND ME! YOU!"

Me: "AHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHH"

I really don't understand how we can lose that badly. 4 digit score to 1 digit score.

Then we played Call of Duty: World at War. I boomered. My friends' first time seeing someone boomered. Guess what? Its my first time boomering when playing a FP game as well.

On a side note, I realize everything that I did affected everyone around me. I will take responsibility. I will admit my mistakes. Not going to run anymore. I'm really sorry for the wrong things that I've done.

And nothing lasts for ever. Not even love. Looking back, I don't regret loving and losing. But I regret losing even before trying. I found a photo of one of this guy I had a HUGE crush on in the past. The thing is I didnt tell anyone about it. By the time someone knew, I was already attached to my ex. So I never knew... And it has become a thing of the past. Looking at the photo, I realized that, I don't want to live my life the same way for the rest of my life.

I regretted not telling you I loved you then. I regretted not trying. But this regret makes me change for the better. I will tell the people I love I love them. Before its too late.

This blog is only known by a few.

So I wouldn't feel exposed if I confess here.

Got to build up courage somewhere right?

So here goes.

I love you, Capybaras. Forever and ever.