Dancing Tiger, Hidden Passion

So here's the dilly-o, i chickened out. Not in the way that you would believe though. I decided to put all my attention to self improvement, family and career first. After all, only when you start loving yourself will you love others the way you wished to be loved.

I still like him, i admit. But its not a big deal whether he knows or not, and there is no need to risk a nice working relationship to see if he likes me back. Its not worth it. Besides, he seems awfully intimate with this colleague of mine, might be close friends or even something more? So WHY torture myself so over something so trivial? I am born with love in me, there is no need to deny it.

And so, I start on a journey to love myself. Not in that pervert way, but to be more confident, to appreciate myself more. To do that first, i must find out what I hate about myself. That done, I will slowly go through my wish list and through means and ways, change the habits i hate about myself.

So first thing I did, I went to source for Ballroom Dancing Lessons. YES I AM STILL LOOKING FOR A PARTNER TO GO WITH. BUT No, I don't have to depend on others to do something I really want to accomplish. So... hee hee hee... its either Latin Dancing (Jive) or Social Dancing or Ballroom Dancing (Waltz). Ah, finally, back to dancing.




Did I ever mentioned that my secret dream was to dance? As a performer.

When I was young, i wanted to learn Ballet, i wanted to be a Ballerina. Hahaha, I practised so hard, I had such a burning passion for it. Then came the fateful day and yeah... I tried again in secondary school, i joined Rhythmic Gym which is a BEAUTIFUL combination of Gymastic and Dancing, where grace meets strength and poise is the head of the meeting. I loved it, and once again practised with all my heart and soul. There was alot of issues then, what with the popular kids hating me, and my inability to fit in (I just can't seem to reach out to people). But I perserve and stood my ground.

I am here for the dance. Not for you guys.

Once again, my leg gave way. But I bit down on my lips, HARD, and continue this path i chose. Then my school had a change of principal, whom promptly shut down alot of more costly CCAs, including mine, and I had to join Chinese Dancing, which is very very slack. I am shocked at the lack of grace and strength that dancing provides in the Dance Club, though the people there are more friendly and less hoity-toity. This could be due to the training programme by the coaches. In Dance Club, the trainer developed this training programme to let people enjoy dancing. In R.Gym, the coach trained us for competition, trained us to be performers, one that performs in public, in terms of how you carry yourself, how you behave in public when you're there for a performance, how you look (muscles and curves, yes, curves) whether you like it or not, it comes in a package. I loved it.

Now my path leads me to working as a co-ordinator for Animation, which i love as well. Infact, i rather like the Arts (Music, Dance, Theatre, Arts). But i miss dancing, where i trained and tone my body to have curves (which now is a lump of fats in all the wrong places). Dancing, where being light on your feet needs you to be poise and graceful at ALL TIMES.
And with a clear path of what I want to do, i can find time to slot in what I love. I am still drawing.

Tomorrow I am going to ask for more information and if possible, sign up for the lessons. This is so exciting!!! I will update again tomorrow! :D

Unfortunately, I am gonna keep this a secret from my colleagues as they tend not to believe me about me dancing before. I guess, you can't judge a book by its cover. I am a rather plump person, but I was decently thin and very graceful at one point in my life. I can still be. But not at your laughing expense. Not this part of me.

Peace out!